Reasons to Leave
The following patterns of behavior are red flags that indicate abusive relationships:
- Causing physical harm to you, your children or pets
- Making threats to physically harm you or others
- Controls where you go, what you do and who you see.
If you experience any of these, you need to take steps to protect yourself and your loved ones.
Patterns of abuse are found in many other behaviors. Read through the following checklist to determine further red flags:
- Have a history of trouble with the law, get into fights, or break and destroy property.
- Blame you for how they treat you, or for anything bad that happens.
- Put down people, including your family and friends, or call them names.
- Are always angry at someone or something.
- Try to isolate you and control whom you see or where you go.
- Nag you or force you to be sexual when you don’t want to be.
- Are physically rough with you (push, shove, pull, yank, squeeze, restrain).
- Take your money or take advantage of you in other ways.
- Accuse you of flirting or “coming on” to others or accuse you of cheating on them.
- Make vulgar comments about others in your presence
- Blame all arguments and problems on you.
- Threaten to kill themselves if you break up with them, or tell you that they cannot live without you.
- Experience extreme mood swings . . . tell you you’re the greatest one minute and rip you apart the next minute.
- Tell you to shut up or tell you you’re dumb, stupid, fat, or call you some other name (directly or indirectly).
- You feel afraid to break up with them.
- You feel tied down; feel like you have to check-in.
- You feel afraid to make decisions or bring up certain subjects so that the other person won’t get mad.
- You tell yourself that if you just try harder and love your partner enough that everything will be just fine.
- You find yourself crying a lot, being depressed or unhappy.
- You find yourself worrying and obsessing about how to please your partner and keep them happy.
If one or more of these patterns ring true in your relationships today, we encourage you to take the courageous steps to get out of those relationships.